Before I know it, it’s now the last day of the first half of the “new” year. Yes, in the back of my head somewhere, I still call 2008 the “new” year. I guess after today, I’ll REALLY have to stop this mental reference.

So the last day of the first half of the year. (2:15AM on the last day, to be exact.) I guess it’s as a good time as any for self-reflection.

In 1 sentence: The first 6 months of this year had started out very well–I had a great time, made some good plans (even though I stuck through with only a few of them), and things were looking like they might fall into good places–but things got a little (okay, a lot!) rocky over the past couple of months and got worse during the 2 weeks, especially, both in my professional and personal lives.

(OKay, I didn’t say it was going to be a short ONE sentence.)

One most important lessons I learned over the past 2 rough months is the fact that I *need* to be able to separate my work and personal lives. Basically, I need to be able to TURN OFF the thinking process when I leave the office.

While this may sound like a VERY simple ideas, I have to admit I’m not used to turning off my thoughts. (Yes yes, the first sign of failing the Buddhist teachings.) When I was still a student, keeping the thoughts almost constantly in the back of my head did have its advantages. I can’t even recount how many times I came up with a solutions to the proofs I was working on while in the shower, while dozing off and about to fall asleep, etc. Of course, that did have its shortcomings — there were also a multiple times that I had some rather strange dreams such as being chased by murderous alphas and betas (yes… you read that correctly — the Greek alphas and betas.)

In the working life, however, there are definitely fewer advantages of always keeping the thoughts on the burners, especially when I’m in the sales function (as I’m currently attached to.)

First of all, there are things that you definitely cannot do anything about outside the working time window. There’s just simply nothing I could do after a certain point of time. (UNFORTUNATELY, however, sometimes the customers DO NOT think so.)

Secondly, there’s just no “end” the work (again, ESPECIALLY in the sales function.) Unlike doing problem sets (or even writing papers) there’s no set completion criteria for the work life. Worse yet, there’s not even a set scope of the work that we have to do. Problems just keep popping up here and there and everywhere, and there seems to be no limit of the varieties of the problems that could arise. (SERIOUSLY…!)

Thirdly, I just have to realize that there are certain roles that certain people have to play. Of course, sometimes they carry it to the extreme, but whatever they say in their “roles” at work place… that’s just that. So, no matter how rude/obnoxious/insulting people become in their roles, I really cannot keep those at the back of my mind.

And lastly (for now–maybe I’ll come up with more later), I just have to understand that I don’t HAVE to be able to get used to all the changes right away. I don’t have to feel comfortable with everything right away. There are learning curves (and also getting-used-to-it curves) to a lot of things, and I shouldn’t feel bad if I don’t get the hang of it right away. I may have been too used to getting things right away while I was back in school, but when it’s outside the books/numbers/paper loops, there are things that are just too complicated for instant gratification.

Oh, and lastly lastly (again, I may come up with more later) I just have to learn to live with the “now”! Sure, this is another one of those very well-known Buddhist teachings, but then again, I think it’s also one of the hardest to follow! I do NOT need to know what’s going to happen 2 years from now. Something may happen that may make me very happy, or it might not. Or maybe it would but I still won’t be happy about it anyway. Who knows. So, the point is, if I don’t know what will happen or what I’ll be happy about, then I really shouldn’t be thinking about it. Just do whatever it takes right now.

(Of course, like everything else, that is much easier said than done!!!)

Anyhow, I have a list of my 2008H2 goals. Will definitely get it down on this blog once I manage to have a bit more time. :)

For now… back to cheering for Germany for the Euro2008 Final!!! (But *sniff* Spain is still leading… *sigh*)

So, I had been completely absent from the web again for a while, not having the chance to do anything to my blog, and up until just this week, almost completely away from facebook as well.

To be honest, the work situation right now has been less than ideal (not to say that there is such thing as the completely “ideal” work out there.) Anyway, I know there have been a lot of changes, and to survive in the corporate world, one needs to be able to adapt and adjust, and to be able to make the best out of the situation. However, having said that, right now I just can’t help feeling as though I’m now a lion cub that has been pushed off the cliff; or thrown off the cliff, to be exact.

To be fair though, I’m definitely learning a lot. Not so much the hard skills that I’m more used to, but a lot of the softer skills of dealing with those funny creatures called “people” (and of course, about the weirdest living thing of all — myself.)

I’m sure you’ve heard of Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War”. Perhaps the most famous passage from that is “know your enemy and know yourself, then you’ll win all the 100 battles that you fight.” (or something along that line.) Well, I figure the “enemy” will change from one situation to the other, but the “yourself” is probably going to always be there. I guess that’s the most benefit I get from this whole working experience. I’m getting a clearer ideas about what I want to be doing and what absolutely does not fit my style.

That, however, is not to say that I had figured out everything to say with certainly whether I want to do something or not. But at least I’m seeing some progress. :) I may be making a few more life-changing decisions again soon.

I’ll get to the knowing my enemy part later…

Right now I just need to get through the next few weeks. One of the things I just have to keep in mind all the time: “It’s not personal. It’s business.” Sometimes you can’t use all the logic to deal with people. Whoever thought that human is the rational race as in all those economics theories?

There has to be a line between work and personal life. I just need to find it.

In the meantime, life is going to continue to be busy for a while. Besides work, I’m half-switching into a half-study mode (therefore, an overall quarter-study mode?) I had not had much chance to expand my book list for this year. Maybe I’ll get to do more of that in a few months’ time.

I want this USB Drive!!!

But of course… I’m not sure I’d have the patience or the skill to make one myself, despite the completely detailed tutorial on the page.

Anyone interested in giving this to me as a birthday present? ;)

So, I had this one song stuck in my head for most of this evening (after oleo hummed a few bar and it got completely stuck in my head).

The only trouble was, neither of us knew what song it was! (I only remember that there are the words “love” and “rainbow” in the lyrics; which didn’t help much in trying to google up the song.) After racking our brains, we still couldn’t figure it out anyway, so I decided to try this website I found a long while ago: midomi.com. Basically, I hummed in the song, and voila!!! Out comes the name of the song I was looking for!

Not bad, I’d have to say. Especially for someone who never remembers the name of the songs/artists like me.

A Lover’s Concerto
Lyrics: Sandy Linzer and Denny Randell

How gentle is the rain
That falls softly on the meadow,
Birds high up the trees
Serenade the clouds with their melodies

Oh, see there beyond the hill,
The bright colors of the rainbow.
Some magic from above
Made this day for us just to fall in love

Now, I belong to you
From this day until forever,
Just love me tenderly
And I’ll give to you every part of me.

Oh, don’t ever make me cry
Through long lonely nights without us.
Be always true to me,
Keep this day in your heart eternally.

One day we shall return
To this place upon the meadow.
We’ll walk out in the rain,
See the birds above singing once again

Oh, you hold me in your arms,
And say once again you love me,
And if your love is true,
Everything will be just as wonderful.

You’ll hold me in your arms,
And say once again you’ll love me,
And if your love is true,
Everything will be just as wonderful

PS. By the way, I first found out about this site via those *coughsannoyingbutmoneymakingadscoughs* on my site… So I guess they’re not all bad… Once in a while something really interesting like this does come up… Really, really once in a while… but they still do.

For the first time in many many months, I’m finally getting to spend more than one night a week at *home* during this long weekend. Well, as some of my colleagues put it, they even teased me that I’m going back to the country-side during this Thai new year holiday season. That’s not so far from the truth as my house *is* really far from where I work! In a completely empty-road times, it probably would take me about 40-50 minutes of driving, but of course, during the rush hours of the usual traffic, that would translate to probably up to 2 hours of driving ONE-WAY. So, if I were to live at home, that would be *AT LEAST* 3 hours of my life everyday wasted on the road!

That, on top of the fact that right now my mom’s choosing to stay at my grandpa’s, is more than enough reasons for me to not go home unless for the Saturday night.

But anyway, I was planning to spend AT LEAST a whole day at home during this holiday. That plan completely fell through though. :( *sigh* A shame, really, since I never get to do that during the regular weekend, what with all the having to go back and forth between here and my grandpa’s place anyway.

Sometimes as I watched the whole “new year” celebration of splashing the water onto the passing cars or the motorcycles (all from the dryness of my car, of course), I sometimes wonder if this whole thing had gone too far and what really is the point of it all? I mean, sure… maybe some people think it’s fun… maybe it’s a tradition, but sometimes seeing kids rushing out onto the street with a bucket of water onto the running motorcycle, I couldn’t help thinking that it’s a) a little reckless & dangerous and b) quite a big usage of water resources!!

But who am I to judge this long-lived tradition?